


Criminally incompetent

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Breaking and Entering, Comedy, Cute, Fluff, Late at Night, Love Letters, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 21:06:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6300430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sehun and Jongin don't make good criminals.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Criminally incompetent

I need ur help !!!! (Text read: 2:36 a.m.)

wtf Sehun it's almost 3 (Text received: 2:37 a.m.)

I need 2 get smthng right now (Text read: 2:40 a.m.)

y r u asking me (Text received: 2:42 a.m.)

this is important! life & death, deep trouble, apocalyptic! (Text read: 2:45 a.m.)

what (Text received: 2:47 a.m.)

come 2 my house, bring your bike, wear black (Text read: 2:48 a.m.)

y black (Text received: 2:50 a.m.)

no time ! (Text read: 2:51 a.m.)

Jongin showed up at Sehun's house just before 3:30, groggy and annoyed. Riding a bike when you were half asleep wasn't easy (he'd almost fallen off a few times) and neither was sneaking out of the house when it was eerily quiet. When he pulled up Sehun was standing on the street dressed in full black even down to his shoelaces and almost bouncing.

"Took you long enough."

"You have boundary issues."

"No I don't."

"Ask me why I'm standing in front of your house in the middle of the night-morning. Oh wait, you know exactly why and have yet to tell me."

"It's simple." Jongin just stared. "I need you to drive the getaway bike."

"What?"

"I have to get something from school and it's really important so we have to go now."

"You couldn't have waited a few hours until school started?"

"I just said it's really important."

"Is it a weapon?"

"No."

"Drugs?" Sehun rolled his eyes. "Porn?"

"We need to get moving."

"I'm not going with you."

"My best friend won't help me in my time of need."

"This isn't your time of need, it's you being crazy."

"You don't even understand how serious this is. It could ruin my life."

"What is it?"

"That's not your business."

"It's my business if I'm going to commit a crime for it."

"It's a letter."

"A letter." Jongin sighed. "A? B? C? Oh is it d? It's totally d."

"Stop kidding around, this is serious."

"So you keep saying."

"We need to break into the school and get the letter back."

"You're kidding."

"I'm not. We need to go right now."

"This is trespassing and breaking and entering."

"Not really."

"If we go to court I'll get them to throw the book at you as hard as they possibly can."

"Thanks, I'm glad you have my back."

"I'll have your head when they execute you."

"You do not get executed for small crimes."

"No crime is small."

"Thanks Mr. Officer I really didn't think of it that way." Sehun walked over to him and climbed onto his bike. "We need to get out of here."

"Before I take you anywhere, why did I have to wear black?"

"First rule of night crime: wear black to blend in with the dark and no one will see you."

"Black may be slimming but it doesn't make you invisible." Sehun smacked him on the side of the head. "Give me a concussion right before I have to drive you somewhere, real bright."

"Come on."

It didn't take long to get to the school but with Sehun clinging to him he was a bit distracted. Sehun was fidgeting way too much and making keeping the bike balanced very difficult. He wanted to reach back and hit him but knew it wasn't the best time. He pulled up outside of the school and Sehun hopped off, leaving Jongin to drag his bike up the path. Sehun took a key out of his pocket and headed to the front door.

"School president does have it's perks."

"It's not breaking in if you have a key." Jongin said and crossed his arms. "You made this seem way more dangerous than it is."

"I had to draw you in somehow."

"Why did you ask me to do this?"

"I knew you'd be awake."

"Awesome." Sehun opened the door.

"Stay out here and stand guard. Be ready to blast."

"Got it." Sehun walked inside and Jongin leaned against the building. It was cold and he was annoyed, which made him decide that once Sehun came out he was going to punch him in the face. Jongin pulled the hood of his jacket up and shoved his hands into his pockets.

After 20 minutes had passed Jongin had enough. He leaned his bike against the wall and walked inside of the school, storming down the hall. He looked around and eventually found Sehun at his locker. Sehun was kicking Jongin's lock, stomping on it as hard as he could.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Jongin screeched and ran over to him. He was too late though; the lock snapped opened and fell to the floor. "You broke my lock you ass!"

"It was necessary."

"No it wasn't! That's my locker— I could've opened it for you!"

"There wasn't time."

"You've been hacking away at it for over 20 minutes, how wasn't there time? It would've taken 2 minutes for me to open it."

"You were supposed to be outside."

"I can't believe you broke my lock."

"It's just a lock."

"A school lock. I have to explain how it broke, buy a new one, and get the dent in the locker fixed. You are such an ass."

"Don't be a baby."

"I could choke you right now."

"Cool it." Sehun opened the locker (with difficulty now that the latch was damaged) and started going through his stuff. Soon he was throwing Jongin's stuff out of his locker and onto the ground.

"Stop it!" Jongin hissed. "I just got it organized and you're wrecking it!"

"I'll help you clean it after!" His calculator crashed to the ground and broke.

"I have a math test tomorrow." He groaned and put his head in his hands. "Mr. Nam won't let us use phones either."

"You can borrow mine."

"You don't have math this semester." Sehun grabbed one of his binders and started shaking it. "For the love of fuck stop!"

"Where the hell is it?"

"Why did you put an important letter in my locker and not tell me? I would've kept it for you and given it back to you when you asked!"

"Personal reasons!"

"What does it say?"

"Personal things!" Jongin groaned again.

"Will you at least tell me what it looks like?"

"It's in a blue envelope and has a sticker holding it shut." Jongin patted his jacket pockets and reached into the inside one, taking out a slightly crumpled blue envelope.

"This one?" Sehun looked like he was going to cry. "I haven't read it."

"Give it to me." He said and reached for it. Jongin tightened his hold on it and held it just out of reach.

"What's in it?"

"Give it back." He was fighting to remain calm.

"Not until you tell me why it's so important."

"Please, Jongin." He whispered. "You have to give it back to me right now."

"Why?"

"Because it's mine!"

"You put in my locker so you clearly meant for me to have it."

"It was a mistake— I need it back."

"You mistakenly slipped it into one of my textbooks."

"Yes."

"I want to read it."

"You can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's none of your business. It's personal and I don't want you to know because it doesn't matter anymore."

"If it didn't matter you wouldn't be this upset."

"Please give it to me!"

"Go outside and calm down. I'm going to read this and clean up."

"The only place you're going is to my office." They turned around and the principal was standing behind them with a police officer.

"Principal Kim, we can explain." Sehun was trying to be convincing but the worry in his voice was overwhelming his words.

"I'm sure you can. Let's go." The two of them followed the men to the principal's office and were seated in the waiting area. The police officer and principal went into the office to talk about a proper punishment, leaving them alone.

"You can read it." Sehun whispered. "Just... just give it back to me after."

"Okay." He opened the letter and took the paper out, unfolding it.

Jongin—

We've been friends since first year and I consider you my best friend. You're really special to me and now that graduation is coming up I realized how much you actually are. I need to tell you something important and it'll change everything (probably for the worst) but I need to get it off my chest before it smothers me. I like you as more than a friend and I guess I have for a while. I know you like someone else so just know that I don't expect anything from you. This is just to ease my mind and set me free. Shit that was stupid. This is stupid, I'm stupid. You're going to think I'm stupid. But I like you, I do. You're funny and clumsy and smart and awesome to be around. The whole butterflies in my stomach thing doesn't really apply to how I feel about you, it's more like wasps stinging the crap out of my insides. That's not a pleasant image but I need to be truthful. I actually want to be an ostrich and bury my head in dirt so I might just do that.

You should probably not talk to me for a day or two just to be safe.

— Sehun

When he was finished reading the letter his mouth was hanging opened. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and looked over at Sehun. He was looking at his feet, his shoe rapping against the tile.

"For real?" Jongin asked, a little breathless. Sehun nodded. "You like me?" He nodded again. "I don't like someone else."

"Not Seulgi?"

"Nope." He put the letter in his pocket. "Why did you want to take it back?"

"Because I regretted it."

"You shouldn't regret how you feel."

"Please don't get sappy because you pity me." They were both quiet for a few minutes. Jongin broke the silence when he threw his head back and laughed, hitting it on the wall. He winced and rubbed it, cringing a little.

"Ouch."

"What's funny about this?"

"You are the biggest idiot I've ever met. You sneak a love letter into my locker, regret it and decide to break into the school, call me for backup, and then break into my locker and expect me not to notice. You are so stupid!"

"Shut the fuck up." Sehun snapped. "It's not funny."

"Why did you call me when you were getting back a note that was for me?"

"Because I knew you'd come if I asked." It was embarrassing that he would do whatever Sehun asked. Of course he'd complain the entire time but he'd still do it.

"Can you kiss my head better?"

"And you called me stupid." Jongin leaned his head down.

"Kiss it?"

"Fine." Sehun moved to kiss his head and he jerked up at the last minute, causing their lips to touch. It was the shortest kiss in the history of time but it still counted. "Oh my god."

"Gosh Sehun, you don't have to beg— I'll go on a date with you."

"I hate you."

"I have a letter that says differently." The principal and officer came out of the office and stood in front of them.

"Because you're both good students I won't press charges. Since you've said that you can explain, I will allow you to try before you're escorted back to your homes." Jongin stood up.

"In the charter of South Korean rights, there is a clause that states that crimes committed in the name of romance are not classified as serious crimes and can be expunged from a person's record." Sehun kicked him in the leg.

"You can't make up laws in front of a police officer."

"Please excuse him officer, he isn't as familiar with criminal law as we are."

They ended up riding back to their homes on Jongin's bike with a police escort in front of them.

"This is actually really cool." Sehun whispered.

"You're lucky that you have a boyfriend who knows his stuff."

"Boyfriend?"

"Too fast?" Sehun scoffed.

"Not fast enough."


End file.
